Whiskey will always be interesting just the way it is. I don’t need to jazz whiskey up with frothy egg whites or cascading dry ice. Even the economic well whiskey that tastes like Banana Boat sunblock has something to offer on its own. I will never get bored with whiskey by itself. Neat whiskey is consumed at room temperature without any ice and is sometimes seen as the purest way to drink it. This way of drinking is also called drinking straight or straight up. I enjoy the craft-less specials, like a cheap beer and a whiskey. Drinking whiskey neat refers to pouring whiskey into a glass and drinking it without adding anything else. This is why dive bars are so beloved-they are simple, they don’t put on airs. “Craft” has become corporate jargon, so I have become bored. No one needs a charcoal and basil infused vermouth while they’re watching Transformers 17. The cocktail menu featured a charcoal and basil infused vermouth. I caught a movie at an iPic cinema recently, where there is dinner and drink service at your seat. Just a few years ago, the word “mixologist” invoked feelings of creative ingenuity, now it’s only used in contemptuous condescension. We have watered down the concept of craft cocktails so much that it now holds as little meaning as the terms “natural ingredients” or “farm to table” or “artisanal.” The formula that everyone feels they need to feature on their drink menu has been popularized, Xeroxed, and bandied about to the point of redundancy. Then came the restaurant groups, the hoteliers, the consultants running their craft cocktail training programs in sterile chains to luxury lounges, the Drinkstagrammers, the influencers-I am officially sick to death of craft cocktail culture. And how many kinds of bitters do you really need to display? Then came the wave of new bars that beat us senseless with their predictable “ambiance” until you felt like shouting “Ok! We get it! You’re RUSTIC! I just backed into an antique rooster figurine and probably got tetanus!” These bars all have twee names involving an animal (Polished Goose Ale House, Turquoise Fox Den, Kettle and Wasp!) and they all need to chill out with the mason jars. First, the pretentious bartenders ruined them with their attitudes, mustaches, and delicate tattoos of the Pythagorean theorem and/or the outline of their home state. Even if there was a unique and innovative cocktail on the menu that piqued my interest, I am too impatient to wait while the bartender grinds up some birch tree twigs in a mortar and pestle.Ĭraft cocktails have been sullied for me since 2011.
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